The right body language can almost double the effectiveness of salesmen
Cesario & Higgins characterize an eager nonverbal style as “approach-oriented”:
- very animated, broad opening movements
- hand movements openly projected outward
- forward-leaning body positions
- fast body movements
- a fast speech rate
In contrast, they characterize a vigilant nonverbal style as “avoidance-oriented”:
- more precise gestures
- backward-leaning positions
- slower body movements
- slower speech
- If your strategy is aimed primarily at increasing the perceived attractiveness of your request or offer, an eager nonverbal style is more likely to be effective.
- if your strategy is focused specifically on reducing the other person’s resistance to your proposal, a vigilant nonverbal style is more likely to be effective.
when the salesperson used an eager nonverbal style, the door-in-the-face technique proved much more powerful (92% compliance) than the control condition (50% compliance).
The way we walk, the eagerness and speed of our gait, all testify to our emotional state and as well as whether or not we care. Don’t you just love when someone takes their time to come over to talk to you, as if time had no value? The speed and eagerness of our walk says you and your time have merit
Somebody says to you, say, Andrea, how about helping me move this weekend. You immediately cover your eyes with your fingers and your rub them. That wasn’t what you wanted to do this weekend and you’ll help them, but it’s a blocking behavior that is demonstrative of how you really feel. Now, here’s what’s interesting: children who are born blind, they will cover their eyes when they hear things they don’t like. So, that’s how hardwired that is in us.
Another good tidbit in the same article:
when someone is lacking confidence and they’re making a statement. Sometimes their shoulder will come up towards their ear
mirroring or isopraxis as the best way to establish social harmony and thus, at a very deep and powerful level, “psychological comfort.
people with guilty knowledge or discomfort (stress) distance themselves with their feet. If you bring up a subject they don’t like they’ll place their feet in the “starter’s position” because they literally want to run away and not be there.
in 2004 Maureen O’Sullivan completed an exhaustive study by looking at 14,000 Police Officers, Detectives, Judges, Psychologists (all people who you’d think, because of their training, that they would be better than average at this skill). The results? Only 33 people (0.2%) were good enough at detecting someone who was lying to receive a grade of “above random chance” (meaning they could do it at least 66% of the time).
Of the 20,000 tested only fifty individuals were found to be natural lie spotters. Being able to spot a lie and in turn a liar is a great feat considering that the average person’s percentage rate in detecting deception is only 50, which is why the great few who obtained near perfect scores are labeled “Truth Wizards”. A couple of Wizards worth mentioning are JJ Newberry who was one of the most accurate scorers on O’Sullivan’s tests as well as the famous Eyes for Lies blogger who has a 96.9% accuracy rate, according to her website. According to the study, successful lie detectors are attuned to detecting elusive changes in facial expressions (dubbed micro-expressions), body language and patterns of voice. They look for behavioral and emotional inconsistencies. Microexpressions are flicker-like emotional clues that occur when someone is trying to hide their true feelings. Some people can suppress emotion, but it is almost impossible to eliminate the expression of emotion all together, which is why people emit micro-expressions.
Truth Detectors: Can You Spot the Truth?
via @navarrotells
lying eyes
HOW TO SPOT A LIAR
Up and to the Left: Indicates a visually constructed Images. If you asked someone to “Imagine an ice cream sundae with a red cherry on top”, this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are “Visually Constructing” an ice cream sundae with a cherry in their mind.
Up and to the Right: Indicates a Visually Remembered Images. If you asked someone to “What color shirt or blouse did you wear yesterday?”, this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are “Visually Remembering” the color.
To the Left: Indicates an Auditory Construct thought. If you asked someone to “Try and ceate the sound of a speeding train in your head”, this would be the direction their eyes moved. In their mind they are imagining and creating the sound of a speeding train.
To the Right: Indicates an Auditory Memory. If you asked someone to “Remember what the National Anthem sounds like”, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while remembering the song.
Down and to the Left: Indicates a Feeling / Kinesthetic / Sensory impression that is being created. If you asked someone to “Can you remember the taste of chocolate?”, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while they recalled a smell, feeling, or taste of eating chocolate.
Down and To the Right: Indicates an Internal Dialog. This is the direction of someone’s eyes as they “talk to themselves.”
So to recap…up = visual; level= audio, down = kinesthetic (recalling a feeling or creating a feeling by talking to yourself) (or recalling/recreating a taste,smell, or tactile sensation).
To the left (for a right handed person) = constructed or imagined, and to the right = remembered - this is reversed for left handed people.
25 Acts of bad Body Language
- Holding Objects in Front of Your Body – a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc. Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.
- Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails – a strong sign of boredom. Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.
- Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes – If you pick lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion. Leave the lint alone!
- Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone – “I’m judging you!” People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.
- Narrowing Your Eyes – If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them. It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking. Don’t send people the wrong message… don’t narrow your eyes.
- Standing Too Close – This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.
- Looking Down While in the Presence of Others – usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.
- Touching Your Face During a Conversation – Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying. Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.
- Faking a Smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two. Don’t force yourself to smile… unless it’s for the camera.
- Leaning Away From Someone You Like – a sign of being bored and disinterested. Some people may also interpret it to mean: “I don’t like you.” People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike. This is especially true when they are sitting around a table. If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending them the wrong message.
- Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips – usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness. Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.
- Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To – This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side. Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.
- Crossing Your Arms – a sign of defensive resistance. Some people may also interpret it as a sign of egotism. Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.
- Displaying a Sluggish Posture – When you’re in an environment bustling with people your posture becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be treated. It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.
- Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck – a typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying. Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.
- Messing With the Collar of Your Shirt – It screams: “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or nervous!” Once again, keep track of your hands. Don’t fidget.
- Increasing Your Rate of Blinking – a clear sign of anxiety. Some people start blinking their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous. Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others. Be cognizant of your blinking habits when you’re nervous, especially if someone is looking at you from a close proximity.
- Slouching Your Shoulders – indicates low self-esteem. People associate perked-up shoulders with strong self-confidence. Always pull your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.
- Standing with Your Hands Crossed Over Your Genitals – This casual posture almost guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take a guarded stance. Quite frequently they adopt a posture that guards one of their most vulnerable areas, their genitals. This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker. Again, try to keep your hands at your sides and your shoulders back.
- Propping Up Your Head with Your Hands – “I’m getting bored!” Never prop up your head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.
- Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes – a sign of frantic nervousness. If your hands are sweating, just let them sweat. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.
- Sitting on the Edge of Your Chair – a clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable. It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel uncomfortable as well. Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.
- Foot and Finger Tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or boredom. Monitor your habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.
- Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects – a pen, paper ball, etc. This is another sign of anxiety. It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness. It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.
- Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot – This is another gesture that usually indicates mental and physical discomfort. People may also see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them. Don’t shift your feet around more than once every 2 to 3 minutes.
50 Body Language Secrets You Need to Succeed in Life | Career Overview
Some things I took away:
Don’t project nervousness - Don’t move around too much, don’t modulate your voice too much, don’t look around the room, don’t touch your face.
Don’t be closed off - don’t cross your legs or arms, and don’t put your palms down.
Don’t project tension - don’t pull up your shoulders.
Don’t project lack of confidence - no hands in pockets.
Don’t project guardedness - no hands in front of heart.
Don’t project arrogance - no hands on hips, no hands behind head, don’t lean way back.
Don’t project boredom - don’t tap your feet, drum your fingers, slouch, cough or yawn.
Don’t project anger - no clenched fist.
Be engaged and present - mirror the other person’s body movements, and actively listen - say things like “yes I see”
Q:hey that video you posted about body language is set to private, is there any way you could friend me on you tube so I can see it? I'm really interested. my name there is youtube.com/JackieNan.
Awww, well actually it looks like she took down the vid, so it’s not about whether it’s friends only or not…If you have any questions about my notes, I can try to answer them, or try to get the answer from her. I tried to write down the main points, but of course it’s better to see her deliver it. I’m actually reading “What every body is saying” right now which is a pretty good book. If you’re interested in body language, it’s one place to start…. I’ve tagged a bunch of stuff “bodylanguage” on this blog. I want to keep posting that type of stuff… Let me know if you know of any body language stuff worth reading…
Body Language and Personality Types 101 (via kittycaht)
My friend’s presentation - and it’s interesting….
Took some rough notes…
firm handshake=dominant person
if dominant, cater to the ego. eg if dominant, then say “you’re the only one who can help”
if passive, then say Jimmy come help - and he will abide
—-
formal vs. informal; and how to motivate different types to go to a party
sharks = money motivated; dominant, formal (say party is great networking event, you can sell insurance to them)
dolphins = fun; dominant, informal (makes more money because they take risks, experimenters) (say party is so much fun)
urchins = statistical (passive, formal) to get him to go to a party, say wanna go, and give a lot of facts to back it up
whale = family (passive, informal) (hey come to the party, all close friends gonna be there)
—-
where people look based on how they think…
when people are thinking about - they look —
visual cues - people look up
audio -people look to the side
kinesthetic - people look down
;
right handed, looking to right - creativity
look left, creativity
left handed people, it’s reversed…
—-
linear people think in steps (left brain)
wholistic - see the whole picture
right brain - skip around
——
how do people react if you take a step back or move forward…do they follow your lead….tells a lot about whether they like you….
arm crossed - cold or critical
dilated pupils, lick lips, or adjust hair - means girl likes what she hears
mirroring - people mirror each other’s position etc., and the dominant person moves first and the others mirror
posture - people lean forward if interested
eg if you take a drink, then when you’re talking to someone they’ll take a drink if you’re clicking…
Decoding love signs! - The Times of India
I like body language articles…
“does he cover his mouth with his hand? When he unconsciously obstructs your view of his lips, it’s a sign that he’s trying to block the truth from slipping out.”




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