Will Shares

Beware cheaters: Your lover's spouse can sue you - CNN.com

Does Falling in Love Make Us More Creative?

psychotherapy:

sarahspy:

A new study demonstrates that thinking about love—but not about sex—causes us to think more “globally,” making it easier to come up with new ideas (via Scientific American)

Having sex is task oriented, but being in love causes you to think more about the future and more about possibilities…

objectively attractive

Urban Dictionary:

objectively attractive :

A phrase used by a spouse or significant other who is incapable of admitting they find another person truly handsome, beautiful, or sexually attractive.

Well, I guess that guy over there is objectively attractive but I don’t find him interesting.

I love this phrase - I’m so gonna use it…

Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

okletsdate:

You hear it all the time: “He was such a NICE Guy, and she’s such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him.”

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the “Nice Guy” have failed repeatedly in relationships.

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What’s wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that “no one will ever love her as much as I do.” Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: “You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I’m here.”

There’s more.  This is such a great rant.  Thanks for passing along the link, B. =P

Joseph Rocha -- 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Didn't Protect Me From Abuse in the Navy - washingtonpost.com

Once I joined the Navy, I was tormented by my chief and fellow sailors, physically and emotionally, for being gay. The irony of “don’t ask, don’t tell” is that it protects bigots and punishes gays who comply.

Damn moving…

Census on Stay-at-Home Moms

mothering full time at home is a widespread phenomenon, including 5.6 million women, or nearly one in four married mothers with children younger than 15. By comparison, the country’s stay-at-home dads number 165,000.
the educational level of nearly one in five mothers at home was less than a high school degree, as compared with one in 12 other mothers. Thirty two percent of moms at home have at least a bachelor’s degree, compared with 38 percent of other mothers.
On the other end of the economic scale, about one-third of moms at home had family incomes of $75,000 a year or more, whereas roughly half of other mothers did.
The report showed that about 27 percent of stay-at-home mothers were Hispanic, compared with 16 percent of other mothers, and about 34 percent were born outside the United States, as compared with 19 percent of other mothers.
In 1994, 19.8 percent of married-couple families with children younger than 15 had a stay-at-home mother. Last year, it was 23.7 percent of families — an increase that Elliott said was statistically significant. “I don’t think we exactly know why,” she said.

McKenzie Phillips’ Shame Frees Others to Confess Same | Hollywood Today

As a result of Phillips’ public confession, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) has reported a 26 percent spike in hotline calls and an 83 percent spike in website traffic since the story aired. Phillips’ public forum has opened a new door for all those affected by the aftermath of rape and incest.
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It becomes such a burden to harbor dirty little secrets forever.
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“I don’t think that it’s fair to say that the abuse that began at 17 is the fault of the child,” said New Orleans Psychologist Michael Bradley to ABC News. “Typically, we find the abuse started much earlier in ways that were kind of borderline, slow steady, leading to these increasingly abusive behaviors.”

So here’s some data validating this idea that raising awareness of an issue actually does yield results…As issues like this are handled better by all of us, our collective happiness improves, so this is positive…I agree it is a burden to harbor secrets - so I can emphasize that it can be liberating to confess as Mckenzie did, and I also agree with the idea that things like this can start young and build…

Too much testosterone disrupts family life (New Scientist)

A man’s spit may indicate what kind of father and husband he is. In polygamous societies, men with high levels of testosterone in their saliva are more likely to take several wives and give their children less attention, compared to those with less of the sex hormone coursing through their bodies.

The new study of rural Senegalese villagers adds to previous work underscoring testosterone’s critical role in a mating and parenting.

High testosterone levels have been linked to increased sexual activity, infidelity and marital conflict. However, after men become fathers, their bodies typically pump out less of the hormone.

“This is good for us, so we can adapt to social challenges very quickly,” says Alexandra Alvergne, an anthropologist at the University of Montpellier, France, and the University of Sheffield, UK, who led the new study.

“I think the evidence is piling up” that testosterone affects mating and parenting in humans, says Peter Ellison, an anthropologist at Harvard University.

Genetics plays some role in determining how much testosterone men produce, but culture, fatherhood and other factors tinker with its levels over a lifetime.

“If you have a young child – a young baby – that you’re at times responsible for, it would be really good to lower your testosterone. Not only are you less likely to forget the child and pursue some other mating opportunity but your temper may be lowered,” Ellison says.

While it isn’t clear exactly how fatherhood tempers testosterone levels, Ellison and others believe that paternal behaviour feeds into the endocrine system to crank down its natural levels.

In cultures where men aren’t expected to be outstanding fathers and are constantly on the lookout for potential mates, testosterone levels tend to stay high, Ellison says. “It’s not that polygynists somehow have different genes that make them polygynists.”

Journal reference: Hormones and Behavior, DOI: 10.1016/j.yhbeh.2009.07.013

thanks psychotherapy